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Usually we can rely on having a summer holiday which gives us a break from the normal routine and gives a sense of well-being from having had time away from the humdrum of everyday life.
This year, however, things may have been different for a lot of people as the uncertainty of the pandemic, vaccinations and tests have all played their part in us not having had that break. It is now autumn again and with it the prospect of darker evenings and colder weather. Does this fill you with dread and despondency? Or are you looking forward to the change of season and the thought of roaring fires and lovely woolly jumpers? Everyone is different and we all react in different ways to the changing of season which is of course something that we have no control over. Autumn and winter blues are very common and some people absolutely dread the coming months. However there are some things that you could try to ease these feelings.
Not keeping these feelings to yourself can also be beneficial as we may not realise that lots of other people feel the same and can share experiences. You may find that you have some friends or acquaintances who feel similar to yourself and who would be only to willing to go on walks or outings to break up the winter months. It is very easy to get home and just shut the curtains and wait out the winter, only going out when absolutely necessary, but just making some simple changes can make all the difference to your mood and outlook. It is also worth remembering that the seasons will change again and light and warmth will always return, and this is something to look forward to.
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I realise I have published this before but I keep getting asked for this so I will just put this out there again, sorry to repeat myself but this is a recurring issue.
It is almost certain that most people will experience grief at some point in their life and it will probably be very difficult to deal with. The death of a loved one is a very personal and individual thing and it cannot be predicted how a person may react. After a bereavement a person may feel some or all of the following:-
Sadness is a normal part of the grieving process and after a loss shock denial and disbelief can be brought on by the realisation that their loved one is not coming back. Numbness can be the body’s way of protecting us from the full impact of the loss whilst we deal with it at our own pace. Panic or confusion can be brought on by the thought of having to cope alone or how to fill the gap left by the person we have lost. Anger is our way of trying to find something to blame for what is seen as an unfair and painful event. Relief can be felt if, for example, there had been a long or painful illness or if the relationship had been a difficult one. This is a normal response and does not mean the person was not cared for. Any or all of these feelings can be felt after a death and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Grief as a very personal thing some people will let it take its course, whereas others may need outside help in the form of talking therapy. There can also be some confusion around the length of time that grieving takes. This is entirely personal – it takes as long as it takes. Some people may feel that a year still feels as if it happened yesterday, or it may feel like a lifetime ago. People around you may have expectations around how quickly a grieving person might ‘move on’, but it may take a long time to come to terms with life without that person. The first year can often be difficult as you move through the ‘firsts’, like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas. These can bring feeling of grief back to the surface. As time passes, people around you may forget what you have been through and you may feel pushed into moving on. But your grief cannot be pushed aside or forgotten and the aim is to find a way of living and coping with it. Being able to talk about that person can be a huge relief and can be a great comfort, and finding support, either individual or as a group could help. What is Counselling?
Counselling is what is sometimes called ‘talking therapy’, and this is a safe, confidential space for you to talk about anything that you may want to change in your life, or simply explore your feelings or thoughts. Counselling is not about being advised on what you should do rather exploring your thoughts and feelings to try and uncover the root causes of problems you may be facing. It can help you understand, accept and overcome emotional issues or problems which may be quite long-standing. Sometimes it may be difficult to discuss things with family or close friends and talking with someone who is not emotionally involved and impartial can be easier. A counsellor will take time to just listen to you without judgement in confidence. People go to counselling for many different reasons, which can include-
This is not an exhaustive list and people go for therapy for many different reasons such as job worries or losses, the death of a much-loved pet for instance. Counselling is not always for people who have reached crisis point, it can also be a preventative measure, to manage difficult emotions before they get worse. Although in the past it has been the norm for counselling to take place face-to-face, there are other options such as telephone or remote counselling with the use of video calls. These can be useful for people who struggle to get out or would prefer to stay in the comfort of their own home. It is also possible to take counselling sessions outdoors in the form of walking-talking therapy which involves walking outside in nature. This has been proven to reduce depression and anxiety in some people. Also, exercise is recognised as benefitting psychological health and mental well-being. You can set your own pace, so you don’t have to be super fit either! It can be difficult to take that first step towards help, but counsellors are there to help you and acknowledging that you need help is the start of change. It is almost certain that most people will experience grief at some point in their life and it will probably be very difficult to deal with.
The death of a loved one is a very personal and individual thing and it cannot be predicted how a person may react. After a bereavement a person may feel some or all of the following:-
Sadness is a normal part of the grieving process and after a loss shock denial and disbelief can be brought on by the realisation that their loved one is not coming back. Numbness can be the body’s way of protecting us from the full impact of the loss whilst we deal with it at our own pace. Panic or confusion can be brought on by the thought of having to cope alone or how to fill the gap left by the person we have lost. Anger is our way of trying to find something to blame for what is seen as an unfair and painful event. Relief can be felt if, for example, there had been a long or painful illness or if the relationship had been a difficult one. This is a normal response and does not mean the person was not cared for. Any or all of these feelings can be felt after a death and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Grief as a very personal thing some people will let it take its course, whereas others may need outside help in the form of talking therapy. There can also be some confusion around the length of time that grieving takes. This is entirely personal – it takes as long as it takes. Some people may feel that a year still feels as if it happened yesterday, or it may feel like a lifetime ago. People around you may have expectations around how quickly a grieving person might ‘move on’, but it may take a long time to come to terms with life without that person. The first year can often be difficult as you move through the ‘firsts’, like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas. These can bring feeling of grief back to the surface. As time passes, people around you may forget what you have been through and you may feel pushed into moving on. But your grief cannot be pushed aside or forgotten and the aim is to find a way of living and coping with it. Being able to talk about that person can be a huge relief and can be a great comfort, and finding support, either individual or as a group could help. Do you feel SAD and need someone to talk to?
If you find that your mood takes a nosedive coming up to and during the winter months, you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). According to government research as many as 29% of adults experience symptoms, with some experiencing it to a severe degree. Symptoms can include:
It is not know exactly what causes SAD but it is often linked to a lack of natural light during the short winter days. Some say it is hereditary and runs in your family. Treatments for SAD include getting as much daylight as possible and exercising. Light therapy where a 'light box', a special lamp simulates natural daylight. Talking therapies can help by having someone to talk to where your low mood can be explored without judgment or criticism. Public Health England recommend that we take a daily dose of Vitamin D (the sunshine vitamin), an inexpensive way to treat mild symptoms. Studies have shown that people who take regular vitamin D supplements showed significant improvement in their mood. If you would like to know more, please give me a call for more details and to book a free initial consultation. Sometimes, the thought of long, dark days can make us feel down or sad. Getting out in the fresh air is a good way to connect with nature which can help to create greater well-being and improve mental health. Eco-therapy is a approach that combines talking therapy with being outdoors. It's not hard or difficult exercise, but a walk through the wonders of nature whilst talking to a professional counsellor outside of the constrictions of everyday life. Eco-therapy sessions are adapted to suit the individual, so less able-bodied people can also take part.  If you would like to know more please contact me for a chat.
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I provide counselling and coaching services in areas including Gnosall, Stafford, Telford and all surrounding villages and areas.
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