If someone loses their partner due to a bereavement, although this is thought to be the most stressful experience you could have, there is an understood process of grieving that people around you can accept and help with.
However, if you lose your partner to divorce you may find there is no roadmap of how to process the loss itself or the development of a new life ahead independent of your partner. When we suffer a bereavement family and friends usually instinctively gather round and offer support, you can take compassionate leave from work. However, with divorce and separation family and friends may start to take sides and work may not even be aware that there is a problem. In these cases, your journey may have to be self-navigating.
Some people may find it a relief – the end of an unsatisfying relationship, whereas others will keenly feel the loss and rejection.
Feelings that can be experienced, such as anger, anxiety, resentment, fear or shame can all affect your mental health, even if you were the one that ended the relationship.
It is also possible that there may be children involved in the break-up and this can cause emotional upheaval as one person is likely to become a part-time parent which can bring about feelings of loss or anxiety. Keeping the channels of communication open can be tricky sometimes, but having an impartial person to talk to can help you to communicate your feelings effectively.
Conflict can take a huge toll on your confidence and this can be an exhausting time. Making some time for yourself to regroup and restore confidence in yourself can help you deal with what is to come.
Counselling is often used for couples to try and save relationships, but also it can help you to come to terms with what can be a significant loss in your life by talking through your feelings and emotions.