Grief and Loss

It is almost certain that most people will experience grief at some point in their life and it will probably be very difficult to deal with.
The death of a loved one is a very personal and individual thing and it cannot be predicted how a person may react.
After a bereavement a person may feel some or all of the following:-

• Sadness or depression
• Shock, denial, disbelief
• Numbness
• Panic and confusion
• Anger
• Relief

 
Sadness is a normal part of the grieving process and after a loss shock denial and disbelief can be brought on by the realisation that their loved one is not coming back.
Numbness can be the body’s way of protecting us from the full impact of the loss whilst we deal with it at our own pace.
Panic or confusion can be brought on by the thought of having to cope alone or how to fill the gap left by the person we have lost.
Anger is our way of trying to find something to blame for what is seen as an unfair and painful event.
Relief can be felt if, for example, there had been a long or painful illness or if the relationship had been a difficult one. This is a normal response and does not mean the person was not cared for.
Any or all of these feelings can be felt after a death and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Grief as a very personal thing some people will let it take its course, whereas others may need outside help in the form of talking therapy.
There can also be some confusion around the length of time that grieving takes. This is entirely personal – it takes as long as it takes. Some people may feel that a year still feels as if it happened yesterday, or it may feel like a lifetime ago.
People around you may have expectations around how quickly a grieving person might ‘move on’, but it may take a long time to come to terms with life without that person.
The first year can often be difficult as you move through the ‘firsts’, like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas. These can bring feeling of grief back to the surface.
As time passes, people around you may forget what you have been through and you may feel pushed into moving on. But your grief cannot be pushed aside or forgotten and the aim is to find a way of living and coping with it. Being able to talk about that person can be a huge relief and can be a great comfort, and finding support, either individual or as a group could help.